


After the Wedding, Debrief Me

by teand



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M, internet Welsh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-07
Updated: 2008-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-31 06:30:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teand/pseuds/teand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Insecurities, Ianto haz them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Wedding, Debrief Me

It was hard to think let alone speak when Jack had his mouth up against that spot on Ianto's neck and was doing that clever thing he did with his tongue and his teeth but somehow Ianto managed to find the strength to gasp, "Wait."

He regretted it a second later when Jack pulled his mouth away, reminded himself of his resolve, and concentrated on breathing.

"Wait?" Jack repeated, frowning a little as though he wasn't sure what the word meant. And it was entirely possible, Ianto realized, that it may have been the first time he'd heard it in this particular context. "Wait," he repeated again and took a step back, eyes gleaming as Ianto couldn't quite prevent an inarticulate protest at the loss of contact. "Delayed gratification." His smile curved into a wicked promise. "I can do that. Heightens the final experience. Got a strong heart, Ianto?"

"It's not… that isn't…" He took a breath, tried not to think of how amazing Jack smelled, and tried again. "I need to ask you something."

"Sixteen. Depending on what you're counting as _first_ …"

"Jack."

"That wasn't the question?" He took two steps back until he hit the edge of the bed then he sprawled, shirt open, belt undone. "All right then. I'm all ears."

He was all temptation and he knew it and as much as Ianto wanted to give in, to finish stripping him out of his clothes and to go to his knees between those long legs, fingers gripping firm muscle as he bent and… He shook his head, realized he'd taken a step closer to the bed, and closed his eyes. "I need to know," he said, and he hated how needy he sounded but there was nothing he could do about that now. "I need to know that I'm not just a substitute for Gwen. A placeholder because you can't have what really want."

"Ianto…"

"I saw how you held her while you were dancing. Like she was precious to you and I don't… I can't…"

"Ianto, open your eyes. Please."

It was the please that did it. A command he could have ignored. A polite request? No.

He hadn't heard Jack get up but there he was, standing at the edge of the bed just a little better than an arm's reach away and although he was no less disheveled and no less desirable, he'd turned the whole _come on and do me big boy_ off.

"What I may or may not feel for Gwen," Jack said quietly, "has nothing to do with what I feel for you. You are not a substitute. You are not a placeholder. _You_ are precious to me."

Most of the time, Jack didn't lie. He prevaricated. He misdirected. He point blank refused to answer. Mostly because he was terrible at anything so simple as a lie. If he actually answered the question asked, the odds were better than good that he was telling the truth.

The iron band around Ianto's heart, the one that made his chest ache and kept him from taking anything but the shallowest of breaths, the one he'd picked up as a wedding favour, loosened and fell away.

This…" Jack continued, waving a hand between them. "…isn't a buddies in a foxhole thing. Trust me on that, I've done the buddies in a foxhole thing and we're short a few rats and a lot of lice and…"

"Jack."

"Yeah. Sorry. What I'm trying to say is that, you and me, we're not just an answer to the stress of the job."

He was smiling now but it wasn't a smile Ianto recognized and he thought he'd catalogued all of Jack's smiles. This looked…

This looked like uncertainty. He should have recognized it sooner; he saw it in the mirror often enough. It wasn't an expression he'd ever wanted to see on Jack's face. Especially not when it was directed at him.

"You can't ask, can you?" he said softly, closing the distance between them.

He half expected Jack to pretend he didn't understand, to laugh it off. He hated that laugh, the one that didn't reach Jack's eyes.

But Jack only shrugged.

The captain was taller -- but only a little and half of that was the thick sole on those ugly brown boots he wore. Reaching up, Ianto cupped Jack's face in his hands and tilted it down until their foreheads were resting together. "Neither are you a substitute," he said softly. "Or a placeholder. _Ach 'n ddrud ata_." Then he kissed him, almost chastely.

They were so close he could feel Jack's smile in the air.

"Can we get to the sexing now? 'Cause I've got tell you, I have never wanted to pound you into the mattress quite as much as I do right at this very moment."

"What about that time in the board room with the red silk tie?"

"The one I ruined?"

"Yeah."

"There wasn't a mattress involved."

"Good point." Then clever fingers had his trousers undone and that was pretty much it for cognitive thought.

Later, after the mattress had proven the durability of British manufacturing, Ianto lay staring up at the ceiling thanking God he did, indeed, have a strong heart, when Jack took his hand and laced their fingers together. It was a gesture that so clearly said _I want to be here with you._ that Ianto somehow found the strength to smile.

"Ianto."

"Captain?"

"Rhys is a lucky man, isn't he?"

He tightened his grip on Jack's hand. "Yes, he is."

"So am I. Luckier. Gwen can't make a decent cup of coffee to save her life."

"She'd also have a little trouble…"  
  
"They have attachments for that."

"Right."

"Say it again."

So maybe he could ask. Or maybe, since he knew the answer, it didn't count as asking. Actually, it hadn't sounded much like a request.

" _Ach 'n ddrud ata_." Then, to be sure Jack understood, Ianto translated. " _You,_ " he said, just as glad Jack couldn't see his face because that would have left no secrets between them at all, "are precious to _me_."

 

 


End file.
